4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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