So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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