Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
can u get pink eye on your cock?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
