i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize