i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
