We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
