Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
