We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
