Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
