Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
