this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
