And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just puked most of my soul out..
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