i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize