If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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