I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just pee around me
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
