Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
