is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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