I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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