i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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