Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
