Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
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I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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