alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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