he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have aggressive nipples.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
