:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
