Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize