she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST