i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void