Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
