I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
