Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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