You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
