i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!