When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
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High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
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...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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