He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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