i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
