When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
