how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
