she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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