What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize