omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
