Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
