And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
