Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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