apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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