I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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