just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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