my being single is dangerous.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize