I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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