There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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