This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
