all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
