You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am in a vortex of obligation.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
