You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
