Do vagina's smell?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
