I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
