Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
