yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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