worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize