sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
