question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I cut my penus on the lid.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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