Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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