remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I did not marry a roomba.
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