No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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