he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You can't just leave with hair like that
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
