Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
