K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize