I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
