he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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