Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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