she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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