Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
